There are monsters out there...
Oh no, they say; things like that cannot happen,
do not happen... it just can't be...
...and the neighbors exclaim in shock and dismay
"but he was such a nice personable young man, always
helpful, friendly, and kind; he'd never do anything
...as the Bundy's and Dahmers and so many others
are taken away...
The shock, horror, and accusations fly as people desperately
search for answers, any answers that point anywhere -
- anywhere but within -
...as Columbine goes down, and people wonder about
Jonbenet Ramsey, and how those children in the
next county, the next state, could be killed
so horribly by their parents, their
teachers, their care-takers...
So easy to see the obvious monsters in retrospect;
20/20 hindsight enables the oh-so-wise recognition of
the warning signs and subsequent post-mortem
pontifications promulgated by the experts and
Society sagely nodds its collective head in
agreement and mutual pronouncement
We Gotta Do Something About It...
...while IT is still hot
headlines and major news...
..and drops IT like a hot potato once IT becomes old
news and fades into forgetfulness because IT
happened over there, not in our back yard,
and IT no longer makes headlines and money...
But there are other monsters, more subtle, more dangerous,
far more deadly...
The socially proper mother and father with the oh-so-nice
home and such well-behaved children -
Who always are there to welcome new neighbors, and
help the needy in their communities and churches...
The good neighbor, the nice lady at the checkout...
that friendly foot-cop, the librarian and doctor,
and the ever-so-understanding teacher at school...
The people who blend in, who never make waves, who are
noticed, if at all, for their charm, friendship,
The people who fit in...
...and the children see what is supposed to be...
...the monsters inevitably emerge when
they think they cannot be seen...
...and the children see what really is...
Sarcasm, innuendo, and allegations fly as the child quietly
listens - unseen, unheard, unnoticed -
"Oh, he can't help it, after all, he's one of those
"After what she told me, I would never ever trust my
children with her..."
"I'd never say this publicly, but he's nothing but a
no-good cheat, bastard, and bum..."
"I'm going to ignore it, but when..."
"She's that way because she's..."
"he's not what he seems, he's really a ..."
"She said that?!? I would never..."
"Did you know that he has considered...?"
Ah... the fine art of innuendo, of allegation, of destroying
trust... of always giving the "but...", a way out,
an escape route and exception...
...ways to look oh-so-noble and good...
...ways to continue the tearing down of another
and justify; to destroy another's reputation -
and rationalize it while placing the
blame on the target of the innuendo...
...and feel oh-so-self-righteous...
...the child listens... and learns...
The monsters appear... the amenable let's-work-it-out
tensions and stress are addressed with screaming,
accusations, name-calling, degredations,
"if you weren't so stupid..."
"you're nothing but a lazy bum..."
"good for nothing son-of-a-bitch..."
"Can't you do anything right?!?..."
"This would not have happened if you..."
"If you weren't so careless with money..."
"If you just kept your stupid mouth shut..."
"If you weren't so dense, you would have
known that is one of my buttons, it's
your fault this happened!"
...and the child watches - and learns -
as verbal violence escalates into
...as all-too-often the child becomes the
target, and learns only that violence,
verbal, physical, mental violence -
- is the acceptable way of handling stress,
of dealing with problems...
oh no, never accept responsibility for mistakes,
for ideas poorly expressed... it's better to
attack the one who reveals that; it's
better to degrade them, humiliate
them, invalidate them...
...that way, attention is redirected, and all the
blame and fault can be placed on another,
and one will not have to face the music...
The monsters emerge, subtly manipulating others
to fulfill their self-centered needs and justify
"If you really loved me, you would..."
"If you were really a good husband/wife, you'd..."
"I work so hard day and night just so you can
have a roof over your head, and I deserve
some gratitude, so..."
"If you weren't such a jerk, I wouldn't have
to keep punishing you..."
"If you'd just... then you wouldn't get
"If you weren't such a rotten kid..."
"I'm doing this because I love you..."
"This hurts me more than it hurts you..."
"I'm the one bringing home the bacon, so..."
"You wouldn't get the crap beaten out of you
...and the child learns the fine art of manipulation,
redirection, misdirection, shaming, and blaming..
...of inflicting and justifying violence for the
The child learns by example... oh, how the child learns...
There are monsters out there...
...there are monsters in here, too...
GhostWolf, February 15th, 2000
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Saturday, 03-Jan-2015 18:12:40 PST